Integration in DID may not mean the complete coming together of all alter egos into one personality. Partial Integration or Functional Multiplicity is another option. I will be using information from the site given in my last blog. This is a comprehensive scholarly research article on integration. Again, it is found on http://did-research.org (On the home page click on “treatment” and then click on “Integration”). This information “rings true” me, both personally and professionally. First, I would like to address Partial Integration and Functional Multiplicity.
Partial Integration or Functional Multiplicity
I mused that this article stated, “Some systems choose to stop at …functional multiplicity.” Although I eventually fully integrated, I could relate to the sense that my subconscious self system seemed to be calling the shots:) Try as I might, I did not have conscious control over how the integration process took place.
Looking back on it, I can see that certain things in therapy, in life, and in my own development had to take place before the next step toward integration could happen could happen. Like “the body knows the score,” perhaps it was my unique subconscious self system that knew how I needed to integrate. I learned that integration cannot be forced by what my conscious mind desired.
In the beginning, alter egos were created to “hold” or “share” unbearable trauma. Over time, however, some alters may have developed into strong independent selves.
Reasons for Choosing Partial Integration
The article referenced above lists some reasons for not fully integrating such as:
*Fear of losing alters that you have become used to–their advise, companionship, and association
*Uncertainty about how to deal with the present world as one integrated person
*Fear of not being able to handle future traumas “alone” and without dissociation
*Attachment to certain alters
*Not liking how your personality changes as the alters fuse
*It may be difficult to maintain one integrated personality over time, especially if you are in an environment of high stress or lack safety
*Strong alters who want to remain separate and maintain their roles/personalities
*Can’t afford further treatment
Alter Egos and Integration
Everyone’s experience with integration will be influenced by the various personality parts. I felt that my alter egos played unique roles in the integration process. This is likely true whether you fully or partially integrate. Sometimes individual parts may try to remain separate, or may not be ready to leave. I did go through a time of being partially integrated.
All alter egos need to be convinced that they can function as a unified whole. Creating cooperation, understanding, and negotiations among alter egos in this integration process is essential.
I found that some alter egos integrated spontaneously. There were some alter egos who integrated into other alter egos. They seemed to say that they were actually splits from an alter ego rather than from the core. There were two who said that integrated and told my therapist that they just “ran off together” and that is why I could no longer access either of them. They did show up later, however.
As these fragments healed they tended to come down to a few principal alter egos that really were “main players.” However, for me I wanted to fully integrate, which I eventually did. However I also learned that even if full integration occurs, it may not be stable–at least at first. More on this next time.