As a PhD in Human Development, I am aware that self development is complex subject. Many viable theories exist about the self and its development.
As a Christian, however, I believe that we come from Heaven with a unique spirit that has choice and challenge. I reflect upon the words of Henry David Thoreau:
“Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting: The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star, Hath had elsewhere its setting, And cometh from afar: Not in entire forgetfulness,And not in utter nakedness, But trailing clouds of glory do we comeFrom God, who is our home (Ode:Imitation of Immortality from Recollections of Early childhood)
I believe that God is my father and that human infants bring with them a personality that is unique. Nature and nurture play their part during this Earth life. However, within each individual I believe that this unique eternal spirit that is a child of God.
Developmental Theories Describe the Self
The long-held theory of Maslow’s Heirachy of Needs (1943,) describes the self in terms of levels of need/development from physiological, to safety, to love/belonging, to esteem, and finally to self-actualization. Many theory of self development address the basic needs for both connection and autonomy. We need to feel connected to others and we need to feel that we have the power to act upon our world and make choices. Self maturity may be defined as being secure enough in both of these aspects that there is no significant conflict between them.
Neuroscience has shown that we have two distinct parts of the brain that regulate self-awareness. One requires language and keeps track of the self across time by assembling events into a coherent autobiographical self. The other is the moment-to-moment self-awareness that is based upon sensations that are experienced. Only the latter can influence the emotional brain or limbic system (Van Der Kolk, 2014,p.238)
The Young Abused Self
The self develops as facts are incorporated into the undertanding of self and as events become part of one’s personal history. When facts or events are too painful or confusing to be thus incorporated, dissociation is a natural response. DID occurs when this is severe enough to require that the trauma is “split off” from consciousness and an alter ego is formed to help carry the trauma.
Although the heavenly spirit born within us is innocent and pure, this divine potential that can become so clouded by early trauma that the mortal sense of self may become obscured and DID may develop. I will address more about this process in my next blog.
Loving Ones Self is Healing
DID does not seem like a normal or even positive aspect of one’s mortal life. Yet in the big picture, I believe that it is a gift given by God to young children who are abused by others, so that they can survive. God loves all of His children on this Earth. Sometimes bad things happen to the innocent. But through Christ’s atonement and in His love, all things can work together for our good and our growth if we will let His love in.
As children of God, he offers to each of us the same love. We need to learn to feel this pure love of Christ for ourselves and not just for others. Listening to His merciful, gentle guidance and not judging ourselves unrighteously is important (Top & Top, 2015). It is easy for someone with DID to feel different and not worthy. We also must deal with accepting ourselves in spite of having DID, and that early trauma did not make us bad. This may be hard when young alter egos have taken on “that which is bad” as if it were their fault.
Jesus loves such little children and the little alter egos that required psychological separation. Opening up ourselves and our alter egos feel the pure love of Christ is healing. One day I had a significant warm feeling that the Savior was there through each split and throughout the integration process. I could feel His profound love for my core self from the beginning and through each alter ego split. When my fractured self could receive this love and share it among the fragments, I felt healing progress.